DWARVES The Zoo, Fortitude Valley 16/02/05[Originally published in Rave magazine, Brisbane 22/02/05]
No offence to Dick Nasty and the Hymies, but a tin monkey in a sailor suit couldn’t have dampened expectations for the Second Coming of the Dwarves, and for the faithful it was the Rapture and the Battle of Megiddo rolled into one. “Let me show you how it’s done” sings Blag Dahlia, and his twenty years as the Dorian Gray of his Ronettes-inspired surfcore combo shows in his effortless transition from doomsday prophet to amused TV ringmaster. Equal parts Benny Hinn and Benny Hill, arms outstretched crucifixion style while showered in alcohol, he passes the microphone to the seething audience like a booby prize under the watchful gaze of his bemasked, bespectacled, beshaven and wholly defrocked altar boy/guitarist Hewhocannotbenamed. The rest of the band heartily straddle their catalogue from 1990’s Blood Guts and Pussy to their latest (and the bulk of the playlist), The Dwarves Must Die. “There Better Be Women” Blag predicts, and lo and foresooth, a willing female disciple takes the stage to slip off her robe not once but twice before the unsurprisingly encore-free curtain call. Even at a record 50 minutes the Dwarves, like the old trickster Jesus H. Christ himself, still know how to leave their congregation panting for more.